Heart | Groundhog | Chicory
I Love Unconditionally.
Groundhog shows up when you may be glimpsing your own heart-shadow. Have you been feeling scapegoated by a loved-one or frustrated that people aren’t acting the way you think they should? Maybe someone in your life is disappointing you or you are disappointing them with your actions or lack-thereof? Many times we create bondage in our relationships rather than offering unconditional love, and we feel disrespected by the people in our lives when they don’t show up in the way we want them to. We hold our loved-ones to a standard that they can’t quite live up to. Fear and distrust are usually the hidden reasons, and emotional triggers produce the delivery system used to control one another.
As the saying goes: If you love somebody, set them free. If they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were. When we are afraid of losing someone or of being alone, we tend to become sticky, needy manipulative or possessive. Often we give to others with unhealthy expectation of pay-back or have strings attached to our actions. Obligatory love can feel more like a prison than a relationship. And when we don’t get the love we want we withhold love from another, as a silent way to demand it.
The ultimate way to receive what you desire is by loving unconditionally. The most beloved humans understand that true abundance comes from having an unconditional heart. This does not mean being a door mat, as self-esteem and good boundaries protect the sacred heart. An angry, resentful or manipulative heart creates a shadow over everything and ensures that you will take your loved-ones for granted. Narcissistic personality disorders are an unconscious projection of feeling worthless or shameful. These projections are easily thrown onto loved-ones as a means to control them. By freeing others you free yourself and remove the veils of illusion to remember that we are all connected and all one. Be like groundhog and dig deep to clear the air, unearth the chains of love and bring any heart-shadow to light.
Key Words: bondage versus love, shadow work, manipulation, unconditional love, trust, scapegoating, narcissism, triggers, feeling disrespected, disappointing and disappointment, generous heart, shoulders arms and hands.
Bach Flower Essence: Chicory
Action Steps:
Triggers are an indicator that you are entering heart-shadow territory. When a trigger occurs, take a moment to deep breathe or walk outside. Reflect on the source of the trigger to bring it to light.
Notice any unhealthy conditions you put on your loved-ones or that they put on you. Guilt is usually an indicator. Go deeper into the core feeling and identify shame or worthlessness. Journal what comes up.
Are you holding a grudge or struggling to forgive someone? Contemplate what you are afraid of in freeing yourself of this burden.
Do something with your hands. Our hands are an extension of our heart. By using them to create or offer healing we clear our heart chakra. Reiki healing is a wonderful technique that flows through the hands.
If you love someone, set them free! Practice unconditional love by releasing unhealthy expectations.
Do strength training for your shoulders, arms and pectoral muscles.
Journal about events in your past relationships that affected your ability to trust.
Do your shadow work! Notice how you treat people and observe any insecurities that make you clinging, greedy or manipulative.
Next time you get angry at a loved-one notice if you close your heart and pull your love away. Try staying in the heart to allow yourself to feel and express what’s on your mind without shutting down or using silent manipulation.
Research scapegoating in narcissistic relationships to learn these dynamics and identify how they affect your life.
Journal about your 13 year old self. Did your parents trust you? See what comes to mind.
Did/do you have a narcissistic parent that uses conditional love to control you? How does this show up as a pattern in your current life? Contemplate and journal.
